fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
