So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
