You work out of a Hotel?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
