Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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