I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
