we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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