I am puke
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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