So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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