There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
