He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize