she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
