Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize