He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
