The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Randomize
