All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize