sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
