There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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