I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
