remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
only you would photoshop your dick
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
sex in a hospital.. check
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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