He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
