what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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