sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
