Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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