so that wasnt chicken after all
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
