WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
