I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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