Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
