I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
