i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
