WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
