I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
