I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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