Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
