He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
