doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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