It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
