There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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