just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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