I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
