jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
As shirtless as possible
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
