Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
