We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
