Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
