My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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