if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
