He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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