i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
COCAINE IS GR8
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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