Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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