i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
