Jerry, you need to find god
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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