Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
not ubering you a puppy
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.