Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.