I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.