I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.