sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches