I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize