Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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