I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize