forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
