Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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