shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
